Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize