no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
