My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
