peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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