Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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