i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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