Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
