i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
