I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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