FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I AM VODKA MAN
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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