She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
