I think scott just propositioned me for sex
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
