And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Someone shit on the floor
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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