a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
