Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
