if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
