You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
