I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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