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You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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