I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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