I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
