her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
