were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
