just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
People in love make me want to vomit
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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