it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize