This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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