This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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