you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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