he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize