if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
