just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
