Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
