eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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