Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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