2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize