I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
