Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
