he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
