My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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