Say something about gay babies.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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