Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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