She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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