is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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