You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
