i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
