R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
