Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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