Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
