What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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