Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
