Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
