every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
