Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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