Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
