This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
