But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize