Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
