I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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