i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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