I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize