is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
