my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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