But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think my moral compass just broke
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
