i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
