So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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