walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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